Happy New Year! I hope 2019 is off to an amazing start for everyone! I always post my New Years resolutions, but this year I decided to make intentions instead. Really, it is the same thing, but the word intention shifts the tone for me. I used to set such unrealistic goals for myself, and then beat myself up when I didn’t reach them. So, this year I cultivated a list of doable intentions that I believe will shift my life in 2019. For me, it’s about keeping the ideas specific, yet also broad. For example, I used to set a goal of how many pounds I wanted to lose, but instead of that limited goal, I now intend to simply eat healthy, because that is more achievable and cannot be shut down by the number on the scale. With that, here is my list of intentions for 2019, enjoy!
To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I was going to post something for World Mental Health day. Because I am completely and utterly exhausted, and I’m not really in a place right now where I’m doing a good job of holding everything together. But then I realized that’s exactly why I need to talk about it. I owe it to myself and to others struggling to be honest and to fight the stigma. So I pulled it together, and collected my thoughts, and decided to show up for myself and for anyone else who needs it. That’s how we get through. I’ve gotten through all of my hardest days, and today is no different.
Listen to me. Not because I’m your mother, or sister, or daughter, but because I am a HUMAN BEING. People act like there isn’t a major problem going on right now in our society. People say “it won’t happen to me” until it does. You think you don’t know anyone who is a threat, who thinks women are less than, who is a predator. Until you do. You think all of this talk doesn’t apply to you. Until it does. Until his breath is hot on your neck, pinning your arms above your head. Until you get catcalled while walking alone late at night. Until he grabs your ass without permission. Until you see tweets like this. From boys who walk the same path to class as you. Who eat the same food as you. Who are surrounded by women every day, yet are so ignorant to the pain associated with rape and sexual assault. This is real. And I’m done counting on someone else to stand up, to speak up, because the people I reached out to on my campus about this who are put in place to help me simply said that it’s freedom of speech, and that nothing can be done just because our “opinions differ.” To me, it’s not an opinion. So if he has freedom of speech, then so do I. I’m done being silent. I’m done apologizing. Hear me roar.
Growing up, I was always “that friend” with a camera in hand, never shy about snapping pictures in my friends faces. I started with disposable cameras, I was always excited to go to CVS to pick up a brand new Kodak camera and drop off my old one to get my pictures developed. I fell immensely in love with capturing moments, because even at a young age I somehow understood how fleeting they were, and how much I’d want to remember them.
If you asked me six years ago if I was a yogi, I would have said yes without hesitation. After all, I practiced a vigorous asana practice every day, I wore bright Lululemon leggings, I said “Namaste,” I thought I was doing a pretty good job of being a yogi. For the first three years of my yoga practice I would walk into the 105 degree room, place my mat as close to the mirrored wall as humanly possible, and spend 90 minutes yanking my body in directions in which it did not want to go, while the instructors voice was drowned out by the booming sound of self-criticisms running through my head. I became unhealthily obsessed with the calorie burning and hated every inch of the 15-year-old girl bending in the mirror in front of me.
Hello, and welcome to my site! I wanted to use this first post as an opportunity to share a little bit about myself and why I created this space.
This website is a combination of all of my passions; yoga, writing, photography, and blogging. I’ve been pursuing these paths in different ways over the course of my life and I decided it was time to merge them into one. During my junior year of college I realized I could no longer pursue a career that I didn’t want to wake up for, and so I began to explore the things that did make me want to wake up. From an early age so many ideas are put into our heads of what we are “supposed” to do, what a career is “supposed” to look like, what successful is “supposed” to be, but ultimately what I discovered is that none of that really mattered if I wasn’t happy.
So I became a yoga teacher, I changed my major to creative writing, I started doing freelance photography. I started embracing who I was and going down the path I had always wanted, but was too afraid to admit to the world. And I freaking love it…